So many things on my mind, big and small. I hardly know where to begin.
I guess I'll start with the largest.
Several months ago, a man that has been in my life off and on, since I was born. told me that he is my father. I kinda suspected it. In the beginning I was angry, in fact up until tonight I was angry... What did he do for me, my whole life? NOTHING, what did he do to help my mother in raising me when his children go everything NOTHING..... wondering why my mom didn't tell me. Then I realized. My mom was protecting me, and she did the right thing by not telling me. His own children, while they received everything they ever wanted, while I was raised on welfare in the projects, had to deal with him. He was a drunk and basically make their lives a living hell. I didn't have to deal with any of that, and I am glad I didn't.
Jumping ahead a few months... a couple of weeks ago, right before Thanksgiving, he found out that he had terminal cancer. I didn't know how I should feel, I didn't really feel anything other than confusion over the fact that I didn't know how I should feel.
Tonight in going over to his house, I saw a broken down, weak,sad man.He has to suffer not only with cancer, but with knowing and living with all of his wrong doings. I was sad for him.
Not sad for me, but sad for him, his wife and his children. I would like to help him/them in anyway that I can.
Now the dilemma, should I talk to his children and let them know that they are my siblings?

I am feeling so much Stress over Christmas this year, I have planned so much, and am still happy over the things that I am planning.I just get very stressed out, very easily. I have decided that starting tomorrow I will just chill, what happens,happens. Christmas is going to come regardless if I have found time to wash my windows. So, I may as well enjoy it.

I love and adore my husband so much, he has such a calming affect on me, and it so gentle when I am stressing out, or having anxiety.