Do you ever feel like you aren't even 1/16 of what you can be?
I feel like I am not even trying to be all that I can be, I almost feel guilty about it.

Amazing, I think I am depressed. I have been staying in bed most of the time for days now.
And today I just figured out that I am depressed, Duh you think ??????
I got on the treadmil today. I could feel every ounce of weight. I have never been so out of shape.

My whole life I have been a morning person. If I don't get it done in the morning, it won't get done. I am worthless at night. once I fix dinner, thats it.
Since I have had Lucas, I have learned to get things done at night.
Tonight after Dinner, I painted in the kitchen, and I cleaned my bedroom. I have to take the chances that I have when Wes is taking care of the baby.
Oh how my world has changed in the last 4 years!

Lucas holding Brandons Finger

Why do I allow myself to get frustrated with my family?

Why don't I just accept the way things are, and deal with it?

Lucas is getting better about doing things on his own. He is allowing me to do a bit more around here. If I could get people to not tear it apart..

Here are some pictures...

Amy Brandon/Lucas

I am living in my own chaos.
Its very stressful.
It really makes me miserable, so why do I continue?