Well, after being a week late for my period ( I have never ever been late for my period unless I was pregnant). It actually made me feel better. Not knowinbg was hard. Now I know for sure and I can start planning for next month.

A reason that I love being Catholic.. Christmas doesn't end on Christmas day.

Trying to get pregnant is so emotionally draining.
and so disappointing when it doesn't happen. or when it does happen and I miscarry again.
as of now I am 5 days late( I am never late). my breasts are sore, and I am nausous in the morning. Yet testing negative on the pregnancy test. What the heck is going on with me?

Some thoughts for next Christmas.

Its ok if I am a scrouge I normally come around by Christmas day. As a Catholic Christmas starts on Christmas day anyway.

Start early like in Jan. making gifts for people. slowly buy through out the year so I am not so stressed in the month of Dec.

I am going to start having the Holidays at home.
I was very sad this year in that I only saw Crystal for an hour, and not at all on Thanksgiving.
that made me sad.

My new years resolution this year (I know I don't normally do this,or believe in it.)Is to hug all the people that I love more.