This is hard, not knowing Christs plan. Sometimes I think that even if it were the worst news, it would be better than not knowing at all.
At the same time I have a total terror. my boys, my baby,baby boys. I am so blessed that God saw fit to put them in my life, to trust me to raise them for him. The thought that I might have to leave them to be raised without me, terrifies me.
I have always thought my whole life that I wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough for anything good to happen in my life, if something good did happen there was terror that it would be taken away because I didn't deserve it.
I live a blessed life like nobody that I know, and while I do know that I don't deserve these gifts given to me by God, I want to beg God to not hurt them. Just let me stay with them. Please Lord just let me stay with them.
They are just so perfect.